Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I didn't see it, I don't have a tv

We don't have a tv in our house (and yes, we love telling people about it). "Television rots your brain, I'd rather spend my time reading", we would say. We thought it would keep us from vegetating in front of a mindless flickering screen, and it would allow us to do more productive things, like learning to play the harmonica, engaging in lively conversations, and pursuing interesting hobbies like bottle painting.

Of course it merely forced us to awkwardly huddle around our laptop screens as we nurtured our newfound obsessions with youtube and internet television.

You can watch almost anything on the Internet (except maybe SNL sketches). There are countless websites (watch for pop-ups) devoted to streaming sitcoms, reality shows, and crime dramas. You can watch most of it for free, as long as you don't mind time limits, small screens, and you're careful to avoid irritating computer viruses (sorry PC users). Of course there is also youtube, that's ready when you are, where you can watch Wham music videos, clips of Japanese game shows , random musings on subjects like "why I love my cat" and "how to turn an old pair of jeans into a functional accordian", fan videos of Michelle Tanner set to Kelly Clarkson's 'Breakaway', and so much more

There is no end to the various ways the Internet can keep you occupied. And then afterwards, when you are away from the screen, you can talk about what you saw and read and make comments to your friends (Dude, I'm reading this blog, it's so awesome! it's like, different...but like...good different). 

So, ABDC, y'all. America's Best Dance Crew just wrapped up its third season this week. Y'all, it was a good season, y'all. The dancing was off the hook, y'all. But seriously, when did Shane Sparks and Lil Mama decide they needed to sound like a 15-year old Jessica Simpson? If you start a sentence with 'y'all', you don't have to close with y'all, it's understood that you're still addressing the whole group. And host Mario Lopez with his stupid puns? "Beat Freaks, can you FREAK away the competition this week?""Quest Crew, is it your QUEST to win ABDC?" Who decided everything AC Slater said had to be as lame as possible? "Oh, this show is too hip hop, nerdy middle American audiences may not be able to relate, we should make the beefcake dance show host say really geeky phrases that re-use the same puns week after week". And what's up with JC Chasez's need to rename everyone? "Hok, you're good at tutting, they should call you King Tut". "Quest, you should be called America's Best Hair Crew, cuz you guys all have different and unique hair styles that many of the guys I often spend time with don't have". Seriously NSync, that's neither complimentary nor funny. You think just because JT's hip and successful you can go around telling people what they should call themselves? You should rename Mario Lopez - 'AC Hater of un-punny jokes'. That'll show him.

You know what else you should watch? Alec Baldwin. Yah, I know it's not new news that the elder Baldwin is a shoo-in for America's Most Awesome Guy award, but he's really funny on 30 Rock, and I want to make sure you all know that. 

One more thing. America's snarkiest, most sarcastic news source, The Onion, keeps me occupied for hours, and you could be too! Their videos, available at their site or on youtube, are so funny I look around when I watch them in case I'm disrupting people with my laughter. So if you haven't checked it out yet, go read their articles and watch their videos.

So what's the point to this post? We like the Internet, and you probably do too, so although you may be going blind, you haven't seen sunlight in four days, and you're starting to think wikipedia is a legitimate information source (I know I am), we appreciate your dedication to our blog and we hope you start to need us like you need google.

xo
e

4 comments:

j. said...

Television can be harmful to a child's development too. A lot of parents see their children learn a new word from tv and decide it's a good thing, meanwhile it can affect language acquisition and attention.

http://www.cbc.ca/arts/tv/story/2009/03/02/babies-tv.html

Take kids outside! Play is important.

http://www.otworks.ca/otworks_page.asp?pageid=761

All this being said, I just watched the last Grey's Anatomy online. Oops.

Unknown said...

A succinct summary of many ways that the Internet can fool you into thinking your life is worth while. Did you ever consider using the find and replace function in your browser to replace all parenthesis with "y'all"? It might broaden your appeal with Middle America. It might be the only way, unless you have access to stimulus funding.

I had an argument with a Professor who thinks that our generation has no uniting, common cultural artefact's. He was boohoohooing the fact that in the old days, people used to be able to sit around intelligently discussing Paradise Lost, Ulysses, As You Like It, The Wasteland, etc, and now a days, we have nothing. The internet might be our common point, as it welcomes and supports every one from flamboyant queers to righteous jihads to basment dwelling porn freaks.

Play may be important, but equally important is a filter through which to interpret and understand the deluge of information provided by access to over a billion minds. Your blog is my filter.
Good work e!

On an unrelated note, chill out Jillian. Play is all well and good, but now that the internet is a central part of life, giving your kids a ball and setting them loose on the park isn't gonna be enough. People are now forming part of their real identity virtually. Kids need support and help to ensure that their digital and analogue selves are compatible and complimentary.

j. said...

Easy there, Joe. I wasn't dissing our culture or new realities. I said nothing about internet, which is interactive and includes multiple venues for exploration and expression. Television on the other hand is passive and while fine in moderation (even therapeutic and/or informative), lacks opportunity for creativity and interface. The concern I was raising was about the excessive hours kids are spending watching television or in regulated activities. Obesity rates are rising and a lot of research is showing that children have less opportunity for unregulated play, be it inside, outside or online, which promotes creativity, critical thinking and social skills. This includes time for children to express and explore the internet.

Button Soup said...

I abhor television. Notice how i said 'television' and not 'TV' because TV is a nickname and nicknames are for friends and television is no friend of mine!

(QFT from HBO's Mr Show.)

Just watch streams (or torrents) that have all the ads removed and the damage to your brain drops off 95%, even for Family Guy.
Notable exception: Reality TV, which is pretty much always far worse than the ads which accompany it.