How To Do Breakfast

Step 1.

Make a good friend, maybe from school, maybe from work. She must be fun and funny. She is equally good friends with all your roommates, and she frequently drops by your house unannounced just to say hi. She can spend entire days with you hanging out on your back patio reading, smoking hookah, and drawing on the walls with sidewalk chalk.

Step 2.

Your friend goes to Africa for 7 months to do her part in changing the world. You keep in touch via email and gmail chat, you read each others' blogs. You miss her.

Step 3.

Friend comes back. She comes to visit for a weekend. You go out and overeat with her, listen to her stories, marvel at her maturity, and drink beers. She stays over on the futon with three fleece blankets. The next morning on your day off, you wake up at 8:30 so you can hang out with her before she has to leave at 11:30 am. You plan out your day. Plans include a delicious breakfast and jumping on the other roommates' beds while they are at work.

Step 4.

You start off breakfast with a Honey Nut Cheerios Shot. You will eat something more substantial, but you enjoy cereal and you want something to ease you into the first meal of the day. Put some Cheerios in a shot glass and pour in a splash of milk. Your friend patiently waits while you run to get your camera to photograph it, and then helps you get a better angle because she knows her way around a camera better than you do. You cast the spoon aside in favour of shooting the cereal back. You have to add more milk to get at the last couple stragglers.

Step 5. 

Ask your friend if she wants ketchup or mustard. Then you make delicious breakfast sandwiches while she showers, using this information. Toast 2 whole wheat English muffins. While those turn golden brown, throw a little butter/olive oil in a pan, change pans because the first one was dirty, throw more butter/olive oil into second pan. Crack two extra large eggs into pan and break the yolks with a spatula. Season with salt and pepper. While those cook, grab the ketchup, mustard, cheddar cheese, and spinach from the fridge. Squeeze a spiral of ketchup onto one muffin, and mustard onto the second. Top with a few leaves of spinach. When eggs start crackling, separate them and flip, then turn off the fire and let them finish cooking with the residual heat, and congratulate yourself for saving energy. Cut about 10 thin slices of cheese. Spatula one egg onto each bed of spinach, then top with 5 slices of cheese each. Top with muffin tops and place each onto a small plate. Garnish with another spinach leaf, just to be fancy. Smile when your friend notices.

Step 6.

Sit at the table with friend and peek into sandwiches to determine whose is whose. Run and grab your camera, decide that the plate looks best on the red wooden chair, photograph, and debate whether food looks less appetizing on a chair. 

Step 7.

Take a bite. Get some Thai Sriracha chili sauce to take it to the next level. Talk about how much better food tastes with hot sauce.

Step 8.

Put on the kettle, eat the sandwiches, and enjoy your friend's company.

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