Brunch on Trial

So I've been brunch hopping recently, and have ended up with a small pile of unreviewed restaurants that I've been meaning to share with you all. So I figured, why not all at once? You've all seen Video on Trial. You know it's often not very funny. Well it's ok, because I'm going to review a bunch of Toronto brunch places, and pictures of delectable foods can counteract any bad jokes made. And nothing elicits public interest like pitting stuff against other stuff. I can't include flashy sounds and colours like on muchmusic, because I don't know how.

Featured Judge: 
e - self proclaimed food consumer

Brunches on Trial:
Lola's Commissary   634 Church St.
Mitzi's College   890 College St.
Bonjour Brioche   812 Queen Street East
Irish Embassy   49 Yonge St.

First up: Lola's Commissary
Lola's is charged with being so pretty that I just assumed the food was delicious, no matter what it tasted like.

Pros: decor was nice. Lola's looks like it's someone's house. But like a rich someone. You walk in the front door, and you see stairs going up to more seating on the second floor in what I assume are supposed to be bedrooms. Then you walk into the living room and there are all the host's guests, seated at dainty tables, surrounded by exposed brick walls and industrial ceilings. Natural light floods in from the large windows, and there is a faint smell of cinnamon. Actually I don't remember what it smelled like, but I'm guessing something like cinnamon.

Speaking of which, food was good. In fact, food was pretty delicious. We ordered mimosas to start, because it was just one of those mornings, and then ordered one of the daily specials and a sugary indulgence and shared.

The special was poached eggs in a soupy tomato and bean sauce, with chunks of avocado and cilantro, and some sort of white sour cream-like sauce drizzled on top. It was like fancy eggs with salsa. We had to order bread on the side, because it didn't come with any, but it was tastey and unique and seemingly healthy.

We had read rave reviews of their cheesecake french toast, so we ordered one to share. They were fluffy and sweet and covered with syrupy berries and sauce. The cheesecake part was goopy cheesey goo on the inside of each piece, sandwiched between the

bread. It was sort of like that cheesey goo you get in your Starbucks pumpkin cream cheese muffins. Kind of fake tasting, but I guess kind of good. The whole thing was a bit too sweet, but that didn't stop us from eating it all.

Lola's was good. Lola's was not so good that I fainted from delight. But I would willingly come to Lola's again. So I guess it gets a solid PRETTY GOOD. I would even say it was quite good, but the word quite doesn't look good in caps.

b) Mitzi's College

Mitzi's is charged with allowing children onto the premises. No one wants to see chubby babies standing on tables. Babies be dirty and they let their fluids drip all over the place.

So the College St. Mitzi's was pretty full last weekend, and we had to wait for a table because everyone brought their babies to Sunday brunch and let them run wild inside the restaurant, taking up precious grown up space. But whatever, free country.

The brunch menu is very small, all specials, and we were told they don't allow substitutions or ordering off the menu. They didn't even have the standard eggs and bacon and toast breakfast, but apparently that is the only thing they will make special if requested. So two of us ordered eggs and bacon, but substituted fruit instead of bacon. And more fruit instead of toast. The other two ordered the poached egg special, which included poached eggs and white fish with dill sauce, fresh fruit, and home fries and sourdough toast.

The food was....ok. Satisfactorily tastey, but not jump out at you delicious. And it wasn't cheap. I would rather try another place rather than go there again. 3 out of 5. Lower your prices, Mitzi.

3nd: Bonjour Brioche
Bonjour Brioche is charged with squishing their tables so close together that I could hear everyone's inane conversations around me, and I felt the need to pretend to talk about something really interesting.

Ok but seriously, Bonjour Brioche's food was delicious. We didn't have to wait too long, and the servers were no nonsense and got people what they wanted in time.

This place is a serious bakery. They make all sorts of breads and quiches and tarts and cakes. And brioche, which is this fancy bread that is delicious! yum! It was hard to decide what to get!

We ended up ordering the croque madame and the broccoli and cheese quiche, and then we took some fresh baked croissants and brioches home for later.

The croque madame was made with what was perhaps the most crazy good toast ever. The ham and cheese was all good and fine, but the crust of the bread had this heavenly crunch that was so satisfying. It was meaty, this crunch. Like on a different dimension from other bread. It was bread if it were made out of steak, and you aren't a vegetarian.

All the plates are served with a piece of their house made baguette and a giant triangular brick of butter. People really don't need that much butter. But the bread itself was chewy and dense and flavourful.

The quiche was light and fluffy, not at all like the crap you get at the cafeteria. It was as if it was steamed, but with the flavour of being baked. And the crust was flaky. And it came with salad. But who cares about salad.

Afterwards, they bring a plate over to your table so you can drool over their tarts, and then dare you not to get one. We dared. And then regret it after, because then we didn't have any tart, and that was sad.

4.75 out of 5. Because eventually the food was gone, and none magically appeared to replace it.

Last: Irish Embassy
The Irish Embassy is charged with being so uninspiring that I didn't bother taking my camera out to photograph anything. 

I considered ordering the Irish breakfast special, but I noticed it came with black pudding, and I suspected it was blood sausage, and I didn't like the sound of that. So instead I ordered the eggs benedict with back bacon. My companion ordered the daily soup - corn chowder - and the green salad with fried shrimp.

Blah, the food was mediocre. To be fair, the corn chowder was pretty tastey. She ate all the shrimp on the salad, but left half of the greens because the dressing had no flavour. The eggs benedict were...blah. The hollandaise was goopy and looked like it had been sitting on the plate for a while. The Irish soda bread it was served on was too thick and overpowering. The homefries were bland and were probably similar to those eaten by Frank McCourt as a child.

2 out of 5 on account that I didn't get food poisoning and I liked that my poached eggs didn't run too much. Irish Embassy is sentenced to play something - anything - besides Enya on their webpage intro. Made me lose my appetite.

Brunch! Stop being disappointing!
e

Apparently I look like Owen Wilson and Sophie Marceau's baby

hm wait...I also look like Stephen Chow.

Though often bizarrely way off depending on the photo you input, like telling you you look like Melania Knauss (Mrs. Trump) and Roseanne Barr in the same breath, this site is pretty fun. Then later, from another photo, they'll say you look like Elle Macpherson, and you can't stay mad.

e