Meat Meat Meat Meat Meat

Who's in the mood for nonstandard animal parts hitting their breakfast plates? Anyone?

The Hoof Cafe is the new cafe from the owners of the Blackhoof charcuterie across the street, both on Dundas W.

Don't even bother, Vegetarians, this is not for you (you could order the french toast. But you should really order the jam and bone marrow donuts). But for you omnivores out there, you really ought to eat here for brunch!

Included on the menu: pig tails and grits. Yes, literally, tails of pigs. But slow cooked, tender, and then formed into a rectangular brick and fried to form a crispy shell. Served atop a creamy, flavourful sea of grits, on which sit poached eggs, braised green onion, and a crispy chip-like flourish.

And baked beans and links. Sounds simple enough. But how often do you find tender tongue in your baked beans? And actually like it? The sausage was full of flavour too, and complimented the fried eggs and crispy fried kale.

Have a hankering for something sweet? How bout brioche french toast? How bout instead of a pat of butter, you have that with seared foie gras. What? Topped with fresh berries, mint leaves, creme fresh, and nuts. Bonkers!

For the lover of the unconventional, you will appreciate the Hoof Cafe, especially since they do everything so well. If you are too squeamish to eat tongue, the suckling pig benny was a popular item when we looked around (suckling pig being under a year old, so it's extra tender).

5 pig giblits out of 6.

e

Starving for Waffles

I have a new best friend.

Her name is Waffles.

Don't get my wrong, Benny and I are still pals. But Waffles are so crispy and fluffy, and they can do anything! Including Benny!

Starving Artist, over at 584 Lansdowne, has brought Brunch to new levels by highlighting waffles on pretty much their entire menu. They have a sweet waffle section with fresh fruit and chocolate and ice cream - already known to be delicious. But they dare to dance with the benedict!? and the sandwich!?

Who wants toast when you can drench an adorable mini waffle in maple syrup?

Plus you can simultaneously shove waffles in your mouth and appreciate hip local art. Check out their website for info on live music and DJ nights too!

5.75 out of 6.1

e

Brunch on Trial

So I've been brunch hopping recently, and have ended up with a small pile of unreviewed restaurants that I've been meaning to share with you all. So I figured, why not all at once? You've all seen Video on Trial. You know it's often not very funny. Well it's ok, because I'm going to review a bunch of Toronto brunch places, and pictures of delectable foods can counteract any bad jokes made. And nothing elicits public interest like pitting stuff against other stuff. I can't include flashy sounds and colours like on muchmusic, because I don't know how.

Featured Judge: 
e - self proclaimed food consumer

Brunches on Trial:
Lola's Commissary   634 Church St.
Mitzi's College   890 College St.
Bonjour Brioche   812 Queen Street East
Irish Embassy   49 Yonge St.

First up: Lola's Commissary
Lola's is charged with being so pretty that I just assumed the food was delicious, no matter what it tasted like.

Pros: decor was nice. Lola's looks like it's someone's house. But like a rich someone. You walk in the front door, and you see stairs going up to more seating on the second floor in what I assume are supposed to be bedrooms. Then you walk into the living room and there are all the host's guests, seated at dainty tables, surrounded by exposed brick walls and industrial ceilings. Natural light floods in from the large windows, and there is a faint smell of cinnamon. Actually I don't remember what it smelled like, but I'm guessing something like cinnamon.

Speaking of which, food was good. In fact, food was pretty delicious. We ordered mimosas to start, because it was just one of those mornings, and then ordered one of the daily specials and a sugary indulgence and shared.

The special was poached eggs in a soupy tomato and bean sauce, with chunks of avocado and cilantro, and some sort of white sour cream-like sauce drizzled on top. It was like fancy eggs with salsa. We had to order bread on the side, because it didn't come with any, but it was tastey and unique and seemingly healthy.

We had read rave reviews of their cheesecake french toast, so we ordered one to share. They were fluffy and sweet and covered with syrupy berries and sauce. The cheesecake part was goopy cheesey goo on the inside of each piece, sandwiched between the

bread. It was sort of like that cheesey goo you get in your Starbucks pumpkin cream cheese muffins. Kind of fake tasting, but I guess kind of good. The whole thing was a bit too sweet, but that didn't stop us from eating it all.

Lola's was good. Lola's was not so good that I fainted from delight. But I would willingly come to Lola's again. So I guess it gets a solid PRETTY GOOD. I would even say it was quite good, but the word quite doesn't look good in caps.

b) Mitzi's College

Mitzi's is charged with allowing children onto the premises. No one wants to see chubby babies standing on tables. Babies be dirty and they let their fluids drip all over the place.

So the College St. Mitzi's was pretty full last weekend, and we had to wait for a table because everyone brought their babies to Sunday brunch and let them run wild inside the restaurant, taking up precious grown up space. But whatever, free country.

The brunch menu is very small, all specials, and we were told they don't allow substitutions or ordering off the menu. They didn't even have the standard eggs and bacon and toast breakfast, but apparently that is the only thing they will make special if requested. So two of us ordered eggs and bacon, but substituted fruit instead of bacon. And more fruit instead of toast. The other two ordered the poached egg special, which included poached eggs and white fish with dill sauce, fresh fruit, and home fries and sourdough toast.

The food was....ok. Satisfactorily tastey, but not jump out at you delicious. And it wasn't cheap. I would rather try another place rather than go there again. 3 out of 5. Lower your prices, Mitzi.

3nd: Bonjour Brioche
Bonjour Brioche is charged with squishing their tables so close together that I could hear everyone's inane conversations around me, and I felt the need to pretend to talk about something really interesting.

Ok but seriously, Bonjour Brioche's food was delicious. We didn't have to wait too long, and the servers were no nonsense and got people what they wanted in time.

This place is a serious bakery. They make all sorts of breads and quiches and tarts and cakes. And brioche, which is this fancy bread that is delicious! yum! It was hard to decide what to get!

We ended up ordering the croque madame and the broccoli and cheese quiche, and then we took some fresh baked croissants and brioches home for later.

The croque madame was made with what was perhaps the most crazy good toast ever. The ham and cheese was all good and fine, but the crust of the bread had this heavenly crunch that was so satisfying. It was meaty, this crunch. Like on a different dimension from other bread. It was bread if it were made out of steak, and you aren't a vegetarian.

All the plates are served with a piece of their house made baguette and a giant triangular brick of butter. People really don't need that much butter. But the bread itself was chewy and dense and flavourful.

The quiche was light and fluffy, not at all like the crap you get at the cafeteria. It was as if it was steamed, but with the flavour of being baked. And the crust was flaky. And it came with salad. But who cares about salad.

Afterwards, they bring a plate over to your table so you can drool over their tarts, and then dare you not to get one. We dared. And then regret it after, because then we didn't have any tart, and that was sad.

4.75 out of 5. Because eventually the food was gone, and none magically appeared to replace it.

Last: Irish Embassy
The Irish Embassy is charged with being so uninspiring that I didn't bother taking my camera out to photograph anything. 

I considered ordering the Irish breakfast special, but I noticed it came with black pudding, and I suspected it was blood sausage, and I didn't like the sound of that. So instead I ordered the eggs benedict with back bacon. My companion ordered the daily soup - corn chowder - and the green salad with fried shrimp.

Blah, the food was mediocre. To be fair, the corn chowder was pretty tastey. She ate all the shrimp on the salad, but left half of the greens because the dressing had no flavour. The eggs benedict were...blah. The hollandaise was goopy and looked like it had been sitting on the plate for a while. The Irish soda bread it was served on was too thick and overpowering. The homefries were bland and were probably similar to those eaten by Frank McCourt as a child.

2 out of 5 on account that I didn't get food poisoning and I liked that my poached eggs didn't run too much. Irish Embassy is sentenced to play something - anything - besides Enya on their webpage intro. Made me lose my appetite.

Brunch! Stop being disappointing!
e

The Breakfast Hot Dog at Discraceland

What could be more good different than this – a new spin on a classic breakfast ... the Breakfast Hot Dog from Discraceland (also available in veggie)! It's one part 2 eggs and toast, one part benedict, and two parts legen-dairy (sic). Not so good different, the price, which is a little more than your average breakfast. But if you’re in the mood for something other than the usual, want to play some board games while you eat, or want to eat a breakfast that’s fit for The King, head over to Bloor and Dovercourt. Also good different at Discraceland: the Everyone’s a DJ night every 2^nd Saturday of the month.

- R

Eat Eat! You're skin and bones

Brunch at Aunties and Uncles



Sorry kids, I forgot my camera when I went out to brunch last week (Sorry...but you try snapping pictures of everything you do. It's not easy). So I will make this review short, because I know while words are sweet and all, a picture requires way less effort for the reader. ;)


Brunch place Aunties and Uncles, on Lippincott St. near College and Bathurst, was voted best brunch in the city by readers of blogTO, so I thought I'd give it a try. (And apparently Sook Yin Lee is a big fan, and you know me and brunch-time celebrity sightings) Everyone said I'd have to wait forever for a table because A&U only opens from 9am-3pm, the space is relatively small, they don't take reservations, and it was a lovely day last Saturday, but it actually wasn't that bad. I got there at 1 or so, and we only waited about 20 min, which really isn't that long.


Again, this place was quite the scene. I saw lots of pretty young hip kids, including several blasé girls in short cutoff jean shorts (apparently that's the new in thing??). We were given a table inside beside the kitchen where we were surrounded by kitchy art and books about the Beatles. It was cute, lots of stuff to look at. The outside patio looked really nice too, but alas there were too many people!


The menu was one page long, with lots of really delicious looking options including breakfast sandwiches, waffles, eggs, and french toast. My friend J and I decided to share two items: the breakfast tacos with meat, cheddar, and cilantro sour cream served with hash browns, and the daily special cubano sandwich with spiced pork, avocado, and swiss cheese and dill potato salad. I got some black coffee and she got apple cider.


We had to wait a bit for the food to come, but it was well worth the wait (and the kitchen was pretty small, so I can see why). The food was really delicious and the portions were large. The tacos were messy to eat but tasty, served on soft corn tortillas. The cubana sandwich was served on a focaccia bun and had lots of chunky avocado and thick slabs of pork and the right amount of sauce. You could choose between hash browns, mixed greens, and potato salad, so we went for the two potato options. The hash browns were rustic chunks of white and sweet potatoes nicely charred in places, and the potato salad was tossed in a dill and mustard dressing that wasn't too heavy. The food had just enough grease to feel like a tasty brunch, but not so much that it was overly decadent.


The bill came out to only $23 for the two of us!


Aunties and Uncles gets three and a half cheek pinches out of four.






e

Munch Brunch

What did you all do May 2-4 weekend? It wasn't the most amazing weather in Toronto on the Monday. It was a bit sunny, but kinda windy and chilly. Still, we wanted to spend the day at the park, so we made plans to have some brunch deliciousness and then throw a softball around.


Torontonians love brunch. It's like the city's collective Saturday afternoon hobby. We wake up late, hungover or not, stretch, throw on some comfortable clothes, and then walk/bike/TTC to our favourite spot or trek out to discover new and exciting ones. Toronto has a lot of great brunch places, from pubs and coffee shops to joints that do nothing but eggs benedict and pancakes. We planned to spend the afternoon at Trinity Bellwoods Park, so we tried to find a place within walking distance with a good reputation. We had heard of Saving Grace, and although it's located in Dundas West, we thought we'd brave the throngs of hungry hipsters and see if we could score a table.


We picked up some tastey coffee at the Linux Caffe, and then slowly strolled through the Annex into Dundas West, dressed in sweatshirts and sunglasses and carrying softball mitts and beach mats. The streets were pretty empty, but when we arrived at Saving Grace, there was a clump of scenesters standing out front in skinny jeans and plastic sunglasses, waiting for a table in the tiny restaurant. We stepped inside, where the no nonsense waitress directed us to a list near the door where you're supposed to write your name for a table. As I casually scanned the room, I locked eyes with this guy who looked up when we came in, and what do you know it was Michael Cera! I think he was there with his Scott Pilgrim film crew, and their party took up half the place. We hurried out of there so we wouldn't embarrass ourselves, and stood around outside and did not stare through the window.

We ended up waiting almost 1 1/2 hours for a table, but what with the celebrity sighting and bumping into some cool people, the time flew right by. We ran into Dundas West-ers N and K who agreed to pose for some pics with their delicious looking take out - baked banana walnut pancakes and a brie and pear sandwich, which K described as "so f-ing good!". Then, as George Michael stepped out to get something from his car (which we innocently caught on camera), K casually said "Hey, do you mind if we get a picture?", to which he replied "Oh, uh yeah, uh I'm just gonna go inside to buy a cookie first". The picture didn't happen, but too bad they ran out of cookies, though, because he could really use the extra calories. That boy was skin-ny.



So we were finally seated and scanned the menus to decide what to eat. The brunch menu was pretty small, and they had run out of many of the daily specials that were written on the chalkboard, including the broccoli scrambled eggs and the banana strawberry waffles. Two of us decided on the black bean quesadillas from the specials board, while S got the scrambled eggs with roasted potatoes and a turkey sausage. While we waited, L got some rooibos tea and I got a skim "lattino", which is their version of a mini latte. I wasn't sure what that was, but I felt weird ordering a latino and just pointed to the menu instead. When it arrived, it was not very small, but it definitely tasted kind of weak. It was ok though. Just not very strong.

The quesadilla plate was pretty big, with mixed greens and a homemade salsa of roughly chopped tomato chunks and red onions. The plate was sprinkled with chipotle seasoning and was pretty tastey, though I could have used a little more cheese. S's scrambled eggs were yummy, but she wasn't a huge fan of the turkey sausage, and there could have been way more roasted potatoes.

While definitely delicious, for almost $20 a person I would have wanted a little more...something. The food did taste really healthy, and I didn't walk away from brunch wanting a nap and a gym membership. I also didn't walk away wanting to go back there right away. Apparently, though, Canadian celebrities seem to dig it (they say Feist is also a fan), so maybe celebrity fixtures are its saving grace (oh come on, it's been begging for a pun. Just be happy I didn't use it in the title). I wouldn't mind going back to try some of their brunchier options, like waffles and eggs, but I'll maybe have to get there a little earlier in case they run out again. And keep in mind we had to wait over an hour, and The Bluth family won't be there every time to make time pass faster.

Overall, I give Saving Grace three awkward teenagers out of four.

e

(P.S. does anyone else remember the Munch Bunch? It popped into my head after typing the word brunch a hundred times, and I'm wondering if other peoples' parents tried to promote a healthy love of vegetables at an early age too)